Could I do it?

If the holidays do nothing else they certainly make us think of the people in our lives. This is usually for one of two reasons: either because we are with those people or away from them. That statement may seem rather absurd. Obviously at all times we are either near or away from people. What makes the holidays unique is that suddenly we become acutely aware of it. If we are near them we interact in a much more personal and focused way than normal. There are meals together which we attach special significance to, gift giving, all sorts of merriment. We travel great distances to be together bearing financial burden, awful airports, long drives. If we are away from each other than we go to special lengths to be in some kind of contact. We make sure to call or write even if we haven't for months. We make others a priority even if only for a few moments. Even if we are used to being away from people we can't help but think of them in these times.

Although I have never been good at keeping in contact I miss people terribly when I don't see them for a while. It is very hard for me. That being said part of what I like most about getting away from everything is that it makes me appreciate what I've left behind and what I am coming back to, particularly my friends and family. Those are the key words the, 'coming back to'. No matter where I've gone and what I've done I've always been coming back. Even though I don't know exactly what I'm doing when I get back to the states, I know I'm coming back.

It's got to me thinking, could I really just leave it all behind? I've always liked to fancy myself someone that could go anywhere, could set up shop wherever I pleased and make it work. Sure I would miss people but I could always make new friends, and anywhere I went I'd have me. I'm not so sure anymore. Even out here, with some of my best friends in the world, some of the people truly closest to me it's hard. There's still the people I left behind. I talk to my friend Stephanie out in Spain and how hard it is for her to be away from her friends and family, but that's her right not me, I'd be fine, right? 2 or 3 years ago I would have thought so, now I really don't know.

Joey