Nobody throws a haymaker.

Let me start with a passage from perhaps my all time favorite television show, Sports Night.

Dan:Because nobody ever throws a haymaker.
Casey: Steven Green does.
Dan: Who's Steven Green?
Casey: Kid who beat me up in third grade.
Dan: He threw a haymaker?
Casey: Gave me a fat lip.
Dan: With a haymaker?
Casey: Yeah.
Dan: Shoulda seen it coming.
Casey: He also kicked, and, you know, there's
no defense for that.

I bring this up because last night I learned first hand that at least someone throws a haymaker. In fact one was thrown at me. For your edification a haymaker is , "A punch in which the arm is whipped sideways from the shoulder joint with minimal elbow bend".

Here's the story:

Last night I was working baxi. I was taking two girls back to their flat. We were in a quiet area and passed 4 young guys. One of the reach out and grabbed one of the girls breasts as we were going by. I cleverly responded, "Get off you fucking rapist". He did not take especially kindly to that. He jogged to approach us and I stopped the cab. I told the girls they should just start walking and not worry about paying. They didn't heed my suggestion and stayed there. The kid put up his fists. I didn't particullarly feel like fighting but what can you do. Luckily I don't think homeboy was much of a fighter. He went for the haymaker on the first punch, a rather poor strategy, it's a bit more of a finisher. Surprising myself more than anyone I rather deftly blocked in with my left arm. Now I don't consider myself I fighter either but at that point it would have been pretty easy to pop him in the nose. Fortunately, I restrained myself. His friends at this point, perhaps a bit embarressed by the actions of their friend pulled him away. In the end the girls got back in the cab and I rode them home.

There's a reason no one throws a haymaker.